Snarry Drabbles
by IceprincessIsis3
Summary: A collection of Snarry Drabbles from a Drable-Matic. Rated for safety reasons because there's likely to be swearing at some point. These are meant to be funny. Some might be happy, while others might be sad.
1. Chapter 1

****A Chair In Time****

On a difficult and bright morning, Harry sat on a bed. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His arse ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Severus to love someone with a hopeful lips?

Happily, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a smart shiny phone, all on a summer's day. I wish my Severus would throw me, in his own gorgeous way..."

"Do you?" Severus sat down beside Harry and put his hand on Harry's hand. "I think that could be arranged."

Harry gasped sarcastically. "But what about my hopeful lips?"

"I like it," Severus said gruffly. "I think it's nervous."

They came together and their kiss was he was hopeful that all would be right in their world very soon.

"I love you," Harry said huskily.

"I love you too," Severus replied and threw him.

They bought a cat, moved in together, and lived sexy ever after.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Gorgeous Occurrence**

Harry paced up and down, jiggling his hand. His very good friend, Mary Sue Chair, had arranged to meet him here on a bed. "I have something nervous to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Chair was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Harry expected to see her bounce up, her shiny hair streaming behind her and her radiant eyes aglow.

Harry heard footsteps, but they seemed rather foolish for a delicate and bright girl like Mary Sue Chair, whose tread was smart. He turned around and found Severus staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Severus said sexy. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Harry had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so gruffly. "Mary Sue Chair asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Severus, his arse began to throb happily.

"Oh," Severus said, sarcastically. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Harry said and caught Severus by his lips. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Severus said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, he was hopeful that all would be right in their world very soon.

From behind a phone, Mary Sue Chair watched with a difficult light in her hopeful eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Harry/Severus". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the cat from extinction.


	3. Chapter 3

****The Foolish Stranger****

**The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Harry strode along the path, making for Nervous Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Shiny Book, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Arse.**

**A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his hopeful phone just in time to face the radiant man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.**

**The man struck happily, and Harry barely raised his phone to meet the attack. They fought long and sarcastically until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.**

**At last, Harry found himself forced to one knee, the man's phone pressed to his bright hand. "I am Severus of Nervous Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Shiny Book. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on a bed."**

**But Harry had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his phone with a twist, overpowered Severus and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Harry said, looking down upon him.**

**Severus's lips shimmered he was hopeful that all would be right in their world very soon. "I have underestimated you, Harry. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."**

**Harry's desire was enflamed. His hand throbbed and all his thoughts were to throw Severus like a cat. Harry caressed Severus's difficult lips and he responded. They came together sexy, and their joining was as gorgeous as their battle, and also much louder.**

**"Ah, my sweet chair!" Harry groaned and threw Severus as gruffly as he could.**

**"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"**

**"Oh," Harry said. "That's where I put the Shiny Book for safekeeping. Sorry."**

**When they had finished their romp, they drowsed huskily on the grass, forgetful of all but their smart love. "We will stay together forever," Severus said, and they began all over again.**

**And so it was that the Wizard Arse never got the Shiny Book and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A Phone In Time**

On a difficult and smart morning, Harry sat on a bed. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His lips ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Severus to love someone with a hopeful hand?

Huskily, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a radiant nervous book, all on a summer's day. I wish my Severus would throw me, in his own gorgeous way..."

"Do you?" Severus sat down beside Harry and put his hand on Harry's arse. "I think that could be arranged."

Harry gasped gruffly. "But what about my hopeful hand?"

"I like it," Severus said happily. "I think it's foolish."

They came together and their kiss was he was hopeful that all would be right in their world very soon.

"I love you," Harry said sexy.

"I love you too," Severus replied and threw him.

They bought a cat, moved in together, and lived sarcastically ever after.


	5. Chapter 5

**I Saw Severus Kissing Santa Claus**

Harry woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one hopeful box that looked like a cake.

Then Harry noticed that Severus was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Harry thought that he would surprise Severus. Maybe even sneak up behind him and fuck him on his smart arse. That always made Severus shiny.

Harry crept roughly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its angry lights, and the presents, heaped up gruffly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Severus. Kissing someone.

Harry was so angry, he picked up a desk from a table and threw it sarcastically on a bed.

They both looked around.

"Severus, you sarcastic cat!" Harry yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Harry looked and then rubbed his hand and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Severus said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a rough kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Harry said nervously. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be pretty."

That seemed reasonable. Harry went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, he tries to live his life like each day could be his last. He made Harry's cock feel all nervous.

"You see?" Severus said scornfully and Harry saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.


	6. Chapter 6

****A Nervous Day To Fuck****

**Harry stepped gruffly out into the angry sunshine, and admired Severus's cock. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a happy sight."**

**Severus climbed off the cake and walked scornfully across the grass to greet his lover. Harry patted Severus on the hand and then tried to fuck him sarcastically, but without success.**

**"That's all right," Severus said. "We can try again later."**

**"I'm just not pretty," Harry. "Not as pretty as the time we fucked on a bed."**

**Severus nodded roughly. "We were rough back in those days."**

**"Our arses were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Harry said. "Everything seems shiny and sarcastic when you're young."**

**"Of course," Severus said. "But now we're smart, we can still have fun. If we go about it nervously."**

**"Nervously?" Harry said . "But how?"**

**"With this," Severus said and held out a hopeful bed. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to fuck."**

**Harry swallowed the bed at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to fuck nervously. They fucked he tries to live his life like each day could be his last. Three times.**

**And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.**


End file.
